The Fall of the Naked Emperor

Today the LA Galaxy again did something vile and unthinkable. They fired Steve Sampson.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of Sampson -- not in the least. He is arrogant, and his arrogance seems to be unwarranted. In 1998 he nearly destroyed the USMNT, leaving it enervated, dispirited, and a laughingstock -- just when it was poised to make inroads into the international soccer community. He did little with Costa Rica, then joined the LA Galaxy midway through 2004 when they were at the top of the league, then quickly brought them down to mediocrity -- where they belong, I would argue.

I can't blame him for being hired by the LAGgers -- that's the faulty reasoning of the management at that time. At first I was very dissappointed with this hiring. I don't want him anywhere near US soccer players ... but then I realized the beauty of his arrival. You see, the baddies in any narrative are at their best when headed by the darkest of villains. The MLS needs the Galaxy as the contrast to all that is good, and the Galaxy need to be led by someone that accentuates that distinction. Sampson was the perfect arch-villain.

I'll go into why I despise the Galaxy sometime, but for now I'll just summarize. They are the team of faking divers like Carlos Ruiz (who is now with the Frisco Cheatin' Divers). They are the darlings of the soccer media, such as it is. And why are they the darlings? Well, because the soccer media is concentrated in L.A., not because of the worth of the team itself. They are a team of machinating managers, player poachers, and undeserved beneficiaries of organized favortism. And their uniforms are ugly.

But back to Sampson.

In his first full season with the Galaxy, Sampson did what he does best and led them to a mediocre -- some would say pathetic -- regular season record. LAG was a perfect .500: 13 wins, 13 losses, and 6 ties. They only won 3 games on the road and were in fourth place in their six team division (ahead of only the two expansion teams, ReAL S.L. and Chivas USA). Yet Sampson did what any good villain would do: he accomplished enough to keep alive in the fight against goodness. He succeeded where few coaches do: he won "the double" (the US Open Cup and the MLS Cup). He failed in every other aspect of the season, but won the two pieces of high-visibility hardware ... thanks to Landon Donovan. Landon's skill made Sampson seem like a decent coach. But that's okay, every arch-villain needs a skillful heavy to do the dirty work. (I do like Donovan, BTW ... when he's in any uniform but that garish Galaxy one.)

This year the assassin has been called away to Germany to compete in the World Cup, and everyone can see that the Emperor has No Clothes. It took only a six game losing streak (and a scoreless stretch of 525 minutes) for the new Galaxy GM to sack Sampson. The new GM, BTW, is Alexi Lalas, who sat the bench on Sampson's 98 World Cup team that came in 32nd of 32 teams.

As with any gang of ruffians, they turn on each other with little provocation. Vengeance sates an evil soul.

Now, sadly, the arch-villain is no longer with his troops. We have lost a counterpoint. Here's hoping the LAGgers retain the services of someone equally deserving of the dark mantle.