A wonderful vacation story

I get tired of hearing about people's trips to the Caribbean, Hawaii, Europe, blah, blah blah. BO-ring! I know how to vacation. Here's my story. Don't get jealous!

The excitement begins yesterday. We have no air conditioning downstairs. The second story (where the bedrooms are) is quite comfortable. The ground floor (where everything else is): not so much. We call our friendly a/c repairman and he says he can come over at 8:30 AM today. I tell my boss I'm going to take a vacation day, get the air conditioning fixed, repair my fence gate latch at the same time, have a nice lunch somewhere with my wife, do something fun with the kids in the afternoon, watch the US take on Spain, then finish the day watching the Dynamo get their first victory in DC.

At 9:00 AM no repairman, so I call him. He's crazy busy, can he come later? Sure.

I spend the entire morning working on the gate. It takes the entire morning because I suck at basic carpentry. The only home repair technique I have mastered is basic profanity. I am sticky and not a little bit stinky. Still no a/c man, so I clean up my garage. A little. I still can't park either car in it. I am stickier and stinkier.

One o'clock and no repairman. I run quickly to Burger King and get a pre-processed burger to take home and scarf down.

Repairman comes at 2:30. He leaves at 2:40 to get the part he needs. He returns at 3:15. Air conditioner is fixed at 4:45. House is cool. I am poor. I have completely forgotten about the US game.

It's 5:30, so we call in wings from Wing Stop and we return with them just in time to see the pre-game. It's raining in DC. Ching won't play due to a hamstring issue. Lighting. They stop the pre-game and go to movie previews. Then at 7 they go to the game. The field is wet. People are flopping everywhere. The ball doesn't move. The ball doesn't roll. The ball can barely even be pushed. It can fly through the air okay though.

The picture goes out and Charlie Pallilo goes into radio game-play mode. He does a fine job. The picture returns in time to see the teams walking to the bench then to the locker room. Everything is wet.

Reno 911 comes on. Then some stupid sitcoms. Then B-Fall reports the game is canceled.

This vacation day just sucked from beginning to end. I am poorer than when I began. I am less rested. I didn't get to go to the Caribbean, Hawaii, or Europe -- just to blah. I am just plain irritable.

But at least I'm cool. And at least the Dynamo didn't lose. TGFSF.